This is my body, which will be given up for you.
This is my body but none of it is my choice. Except maybe the nude paint on my face to cover the freckles or the black gloopy tar on my eyelashes. I also trim my hairs, shave the appropriate parts, and tweeze my eyebrows, but my jurisdiction stops there.
Had it been my choice I would’ve gotten shiny, bouncy curls that catch the light and your eye. Speaking of eye, I would’ve gotten much better eyesight (these contact lenses are wearing down my corneas). My hips would’ve been slimmer and more boy-like. My teeth wouldn’t have so many craters and I would generally be more symmetrical and rationally pleasing.
My left breast is larger than my right. I favor my right eyebrow though, because its arch comes more naturally than the left’s. I have a circular scar on my right knee and a small jagged line on my left foot. I was blessed with three birthmarks- two on my torso, near each hip and one on my right leg near my ankle. I was also blessed with three ureters- that’s one too many and results in frequent urgency to urinate.
If it were up to me, I would be homosexual and all the other lesbians would ask, why? They would be like Jews unable to understand why a convert would want to take on their hardships and struggle. I’d tell them that they feel better, and if it were up to me, they actually would.
My second toe is longer than my big toe (on both feet) which is a condition called Morton’s syndrome. My feet look just like my father’s. My eyes though, I got from my mother. I’m enchantingly exotic because of her. Confusing because of her.
He said, will you give yourself to me? It was funny because I thought I already had. What he meant was, will you give your body to me? Even though it felt like a sacrifice, I did. I saw his body and his hairiness and the weird bump on his shoulder and the scar on thigh and all I could think about the whole time was combinations and permutations. If there are 26 imperfections on his body and 41 on mine, how many different combinations can be made taking 4 imperfections at a time (with no replacement)? Do you think that’s what our parents did? Do you think my body is arbitrary?
the jesus reference is nice, and appropriate, because I'm studying for one of his tests right now. This is confusing in a good way. In one sense it seems you desire a more 'manly' body, but yet you engage in conciously female-sexed activities. And when you beheld the naked man you found his body strange. Perhaps this is an allusion to the sudden self-conciousness, and fall from grace, experienced by Eve and Adam in the garden. Lots of religious language here.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you use a religious allusion in reference to Jesus - "this my body" and "this is my blood"- and transform it into a sexual possession meant for a boy. I also like how you go into detail about imperfections and how these imperfections make humans real even though we could be perfectly formed. Overall, very interesting and enchanting.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting piece. I like your presence: you are there as a narrator and an author, and yet you give the reader a feeling of slight detachment from the "body" in the piece though we know it is yours.
ReplyDeleteThe presence of the "you" in the piece is a little confusing, but I feel like I understand what you were doing. I, however, liked the musing on your body more than the frame-story of you giving it to someone.
Also: My cousin has three ureters too, and my second toe is the longest too! Just thought that was curiously coincidental, haha.
I like this piece! I really enjoyed the jesus reference in the beginning. The examinations of your body is nice because you are writing about it from almost an outside perspective. However, I would like to know more about the males features similar how you went into your own descriptions. So maybe adding a little more to the work
ReplyDeleteI would continue extending the mathematical metaphor at the end, that seems to be where this is going. That and the objectification or sectioning of various body parts. I like thinking of ourselves as just objects among other objects, sometimes bouncing off each other, sometimes stationary.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece! I enjoyed the religious undertone that ran throughout the piece, also the specificity in describing the "imperfections". This piece was really cool and I also enjoyed the mathematical tome at the end. I agree with Weldon, definitely think about expanding that number play throughout the piece. Awesome.
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