When I was nine years old I fell in love with Wolverine. It was 2000 and my mother, sister and I were on vacation in Las Vegas. We had driven in an old silver Saturn and after spending a few days in Vegas, we took a tour bus to see the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon.
I don’t really recall my thoughts about the Hoover Dam or Grand Canyon, but I remember seeing X-Men at a movie theater in the Circus Circus Hotel. We weren’t staying there, it was too expensive, but it was the only kid-friendly attraction that also offered gambling. My mom left us in the kid-friendly part and was gone for the night. My sister and I explored the Circus Circus, too afraid of the outside world to even think about leaving the hotel. It was loads of fun for at least a few hours, but after the giddiness of being parent-less wore off, we were hungry. We wandered around looking for something to eat and that’s when we found the theater.
Back then, I was still in the stage of doing everything my sister told me to. She wanted to see X-Men, so we went. That’s when it happened. I was obsessed within the first few minutes. Wolverine, or Logan as I fantasized I would call him, was so unlike the male leads in all the horrible movies my nine-year-old self was accustomed to. He was too much for my pre-pubescent mind to handle. He was also the first bad-ass I had ever encountered. Just imagine, being led into the world of rebelliousness and sex appeal by Wolverine himself. It shifted my small world, and I knew even then that Logan was what I wanted. No, what I needed. Anyone else simply wouldn’t do.
Over the years, X2, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and X-Men: Fist Class have come out and I’ve found myself in love with Logan, or Wolverine as he seems to prefer to be known by, with each one. The more masculine, brooding and overdone he is, the more I have to have him. It proved to be an actual problem. In 7th grade, I dated a big, buff 8th grader who had a sensitive, emotional side and possibly had anger management issues. He seemed to be as close to Wolverine as I could get, but it wasn’t close enough. He had blonde hair and blue eyes where Logan had brown both. I couldn’t overlook it.
In high school I dated a couple different guys who arguably had important qualities in common with Wolverine, but of course, they always fell short. I like to think that my current boyfriend is the closest I’ve ever gotten. Of course, he doesn’t have adamantium bones or blades that shoot out of his knuckles. Learning to admit that I’ll never find such perfection has been a slow and painful process. It began with being teased for being so excited about my beloved mutant movies, and grew into me becoming a complete closet Wolverine fan. I keep telling myself I’ll let this obsession go, and yet I find myself trying to convince my boyfriend to be Wolverine for Halloween.
This is nicely contained, and your writing seems more your own here than in your other pieces. By that I mean 1)you seem to have control and 2) you seem comfortable confronting yourself.
ReplyDeleteWeird request or not, I'm curious about having access to your nine-year-old thoughts and fantasies in order to navigate to the root of why he allured you.
I really enjoyed this. As most of your "narrator's" have illustrated, you have a frank understanding of the world around you. Your narrators understand their motivations and this allow the reader to walk through the piece with ease.
ReplyDeleteLike. (The last sentence is awesome)
ReplyDeleteI would have liked to probe further into things that you like about Wolverine. We get the general idea, but some moments where those things become concrete would be great (example: What scene in the movie made you fall in love with him, and why?)
The introductory anecdote, for me, evoked your first workshop piece (the same mother who shouted at your sister for being irresponsible left both of you alone in a Las Vegas hotel), and I could see this as being a part of a larger ensemble. Yet if that is not the way it is, I would favor cutting more of the introduction in order to get to know more about your relationship with the mythical Wolverine.
Nicely constructed. The first three paragraphs are working well, with the exception of the awkwardness and redundance of "my nine-year-old-self." Those of your readers (like this one) who aren't familiar with the movies will need more details about Wolverine, which is also a way to further explore his appeal for you. Adamantium bones is a great start; tell us more.
ReplyDeleteI like the topic and construction of this piece. I would like to see more specific reasons that at 9 years old you were allured by Wolverine. What specific characteristics made you love him, obsess over him? What characteristics make you still love him? Have they changed over time or are still the same?
ReplyDeleteYour obsession with wolverine is hilarious and it's funny how you choose boyfriends based off your romanticizing of this character. A true X-men fan.
ReplyDelete